In a healthy intimate relationship, a partner would say “I’m uncomfortable with you watching porn because it makes me feel — ”. The partner would listen and reply “I hear you but I like watching porn because — .” Then, together, they would figure out a respectful solution. What you’ve postulated is antithetical to true intimacy, and a wholly unrealistic expectation from a lasting relationship. What you’ve described is an unhealthy co-dependent situation where both partners have work to do. Perhaps next time someone expresses dislike of your porn watching, you can simply ask what about it bothers them, and let them in on what you like about it. I promise you, your sex will get a hell of a lot better after a conversation like that.

I got my first TV writing job at 48, took 26 years to find my birth family. It’s never too late, you’re never too old. Keep going. lostinadoptionland@gmail.com

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