Laurie,

Thank you for taking the time to read my work and to respond.

Being thankful for the families that raised us and recognizing the trauma inherent to adoption can coexist. I would argue that making them mutually exclusive is detrimental to honest dialogue about adoption.

According tho the American Academy of Pediatrics, adoptees are 4x more likely to attempt suicide and are over represented in mental health settings. We are diagnosed with Depression and Anxiety at higher rates than our non-adopted friends. It is not "my" suffering, it is the suffering of an overwhelming number of our fellow adoptees.

There is ample research on the pre-verbal trauma caused by separating an infant from their mother. Connection to/with biological family or the families who raise us is irrelevant, the trauma pre-dates those relationships.

The point of this essay, and several others I've written, is to illuminate these facts. We are not a monolith, but we can -and should- discuss the complexities of adoption without falling into the "those who mention the negatives must not be thankful" trope.

I appreciate you commenting and sharing your experience. Adoptees are the experts in adoption, hearing all our voices is essential.

Best,

Mindy