Thank you so much for reading and responding. I have a lot to say about your pain, one I know too well, but that's for another day. For now, thank you for sharing your truth. I know I am lucky I found her dead--I got the best of her and the ability to retain sone fantasy, without the worst. She would have rejected me and I am certain I would not have survived that.

I wrote this a few years ago, I think it will resonate with you. https://medium.com/@mindystern/adoption-is-trauma-its-time-to-talk-about-it-ec675ba328cb

Much love to you. You're not alone.