Thank you so much for reading and so thoughtfully, beautifully, sharing your story. Pro-choice adoptees often get this question "so would you rather have been aborted?" (albeit with less compassion than you asked it). It is a repugnant question. No one else gets it: children of horrendous divorces or traumatic abusive childhoods do not get asked if they would have preferred their mothers aborted them. You are asking with heartfelt compassion not vitriol, but I hope you can see the fundamental problem with the question.

Abortion is an alternative to carrying a pregnancy to term, adoption is an alternative to parenting a child birthed. So the question for adoptees is, "would you have preferred your biological parent(s) or family raised you?" For me, the answer is yes--the cleaving from my biology, history, ancestry, genetic mirroring, the neurobiological damage from maternal separation did not give me a better life, just a different one.

But to answer your question, I wish my mother had a choice. I wish for every woman to have that choice. Had she aborted me, I wouldn't be me, the question is mute. Abortion is about the mother's life. Mine saved mine, sounds like yours did the same for you.